THE OFFICIAL PANTHEON CHRONICLE OF THE TWO ASSASSINATION ATTEMPTS UPON BELLA, SHERIFF OF THE REALM

Written By Kandy Rogers

Recorded by the High Archivist of Petty Crimes, Bam of the Boots & Mittens

Witnessed by Kandy, Keeper of the Throne Nexus

Filed under: Crimes of Gravity, Treasonous Acts, and General Foolishness

Prelude to Hostilities

For many moons, Bella — Sheriff, Enforcer, and Nose‑Puncher of the Realm — has maintained order among the small ones with a firm paw and a righteous snout.

Dan, known in the scrolls as Dramatic One, Familiar in Training and He Who Crumbles Under Mild Pressure, has long been the primary recipient of her corrective taps.

Tensions rose. Boundaries were crossed. Chases were enacted. The Sheriff’s patience remained steady.

Dan’s did not.

The First Attempt

On the morning of the First Incident, Dan ascended to a high vantage point — a shelf, a ledge, a precipice of questionable stability.

From this perch, he enacted Operation: Gravity Will Handle This.

An object was nudged. Not gently. Not accidentally. With intent.

It fell toward Bella’s head.

The Sheriff, blessed by reflexes and divine timing, avoided the strike.

Dan fled the scene.

The Second Attempt

One attempt could be dismissed as coincidence. Two attempts form a pattern.

On the day of the Second Incident, Dan again took to the heights. Again, an object was positioned. Again, Bella passed beneath.

And again, Dan attempted to smite her with the power of falling household debris.

The Sheriff evaded. Dan pretended to be “just looking around.” No one believed him.

Motive

The Pantheon Council has reviewed the evidence and determined the following:

  • Bella has been nose‑punching Dan with increasing frequency

  • Bella has been chasing Dan outdoors, enforcing the Law of the Yard

  • Dan has reached his emotional limit

  • Dan has chosen violence

  • Dan is very bad at violence

    Current Status

    Bella remains unharmed, though deeply offended. Dan remains at large, though deeply dramatic.

    Bella is expected to file a formal Book of Betrayals entry on her own behalf, citing:

    • Attempted smiting

    • Abuse of gravity

    • Disrespect of the Sheriff’s authority

    • General audacity

    Bam stands ready to record her testimony.

    Official Pantheon Recommendation

    Dan is advised to:

    • Cease all aerial warfare

    • Seek mediation

    • Stop climbing things with murder in his heart

    • Accept that Bella will always win

    Bella is advised to:

    • Continue being Bella

    • Consider allowing Bam to represent her in the Betrayal Courts

    • Enjoy her victory

Kandy Rogers

Kandy Rogers is a creator, storyteller, and ritual architect who transforms everyday life into living mythology. Through handcrafted objects, symbolic design, and narrative-rich spaces, she builds emotional worlds where memory, joy, and meaning take center stage. Her work blends practical craft with mythic imagination, honoring the small sacred moments that shape a household’s legend. Many of her handcrafted objects are offered for purchase, allowing others to bring a piece of that mythology into their own lives.

https://Lavenderwolfcrafts.com
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THE KITTEN BOX CHRONICLES -Book 2