BOOK OF BETRAYALS — ENTRY XXVII
Filed by Bella, Sheriff of the Realm, Enforcer of Order, Nose‑Puncher of the Unruly
Charge: Two Counts of Attempted Smiting by Falling Object Accused: Dan, Son of Chaos, Bearer of Questionable Judgment
Statement of the Wronged: “I, Bella, Sheriff and Keeper of the Law, do hereby record the treacherous acts committed against me by Dan. Twice he has taken to the heights with murder in his heart. Twice he has weaponized gravity in an attempt to strike me down. These were not accidents. These were not coincidences. These were deliberate acts of cowardice from above.”
Evidence Presented:
A suspiciously nudged object during my patrol of the hallway
A second object dropped with unmistakable intent
Dan fleeing the scene both times with the guilt of a poorly written alibi
My continued survival, which is frankly embarrassing for him
Impact on the Sheriff: “I remain unharmed, but deeply offended. My authority has been challenged. My patience has been tested. My whiskers have been ruffled.”
Requested Judgment: “That this betrayal be recorded in the Book so that future generations may know: Dan tried it. And he failed.”
Signed, Bella Sheriff, Enforcer, Defender of the Yard, She Who Nose‑Punches With Purpose
ADDENDUM BY BAM, HIGH ARCHIVIST OF PETTY CRIMES
(Filed immediately, unprompted, and with dramatic flourish)
“I, Bam of the Boots & Mittens, would like to note for the record that Dan is an idiot. A lovable idiot, yes, but an idiot nonetheless. If you’re going to attempt regicide, at least commit to the bit. The Sheriff walked away without a single hair out of place. Embarrassing.
Also, dropping things from high places is my signature move. Dan is advised to stay in his lane.
This entry is accepted into the Book of Betrayals with full ceremonial eye‑roll.”
— Bam High Archivist, Judge of Petty Offenses, She Who Sees All From the Couch Arm
